Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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