If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
