Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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