there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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