have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
So vagazzling was a success
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
