at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
We are two peas in an std pod
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Randomize
