i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
