i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
