This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
