Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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