if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
