dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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