my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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