Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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