well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
this just has baby written all over it
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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