there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
