i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
This gyro tastes like lonliness
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
