Welp...herpes.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
