would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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