Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
