Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
