a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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