don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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