she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
