Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
