I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
