when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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