I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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