Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
