He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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