I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
