Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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