I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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