New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
