i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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