i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
True strength comes from lack of pants
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
