just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
