At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
