You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
