need another drink. this is the easiest way
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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