sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
she smelled like a LAN party
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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