your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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