So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
