he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
