it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Randomize
