How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
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