so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Randomize
