I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I need a burrito and a hug.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
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