I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize
