You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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