Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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