I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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